Bank Holiday Horrors.

This Easter weekend was meant to be filled with promise and hope and joy and all that sort of stuff, but, in fact, it was just like everything else I set high hopes on: it was plain awful and has set the wheels in motion on this vehicle simply known as "BLEUGHHHHYUKKK". Surprisingly, this mode of transportation isn't that rare.

I have been seeing this man who I shall name 'D'. I very much enjoy his company and think he's quite the looker. We had a brief affair last summer (2007) which ended up with me in tears on a bench in Highbury Fields as he explained that it was just a 'fling'. ME being my usual self assumed we were 'together'. After that moment and as soon as I reached my then abode in London, I deleted him from every profile site and made sure I couldn't contact him. This went on for six whole months until I got a text from him at Christmas. I obviously replied because it's clear that I do not own a back bone.
After a few texting sessions and conversations on the phone we decided to meet up. It was all very nice, nothing too extravagant, but it did result in me going back to his... If you catch my drift. So, obviously, it was back to what it was before: 'fling' status, but part 2.
This was repeated for two months until I text him asking for an explanation and that I really 'couldn't do this anymore'. I then received a phone call in reply to this message saying that he wants to sort things out and he doesn't want me getting hurt like I did last year. The phone call was very awkward because we were both quite nervous about talking about our feelings, so we decided to meet up Easter weekend...

'D' was meant to meet me in my home town, but at the last minute explained that we would have more time with each other if I came to London on the Saturday night. Like a fool, I did.

I arrived at Euston where he met me. We dropped my things off at his and travelled to Islington to have a few drinks. For some reason, I was quite admired by a fair few guys. It was refreshing to have an air of confidence about myself. Usually, in situations like this (different location, travelling and being nervous about seeing a guy) I cower away from any looks or comments. Afterwards, we went back to his and were intimate until the early hours. On the Sunday, I wore the most amazing dress, stocking and heels, went out for food and then back to his for more intimate action.
Today, I woke up to his alarm and proceeded with yet more intimacy, then he put me in his car, drove me back to my home and said "I can't do a relationship. We can only be friends. Bye"

I feel utterly stupid. Not only have I got his marks all over my body from several passionate nights, I now have feelings for him and feel as if I have been led up the garden path yet again. This isn't meant to happen. Men are meant to fall in love with me.

...and this is why I have vowed to myself to never let a guy close to me again, whether it's physically or emotionally.

This is the last time I get hurt.