since you've been gone.

okay, since the last post i have mostly been:
+ acting like a slut, which i hate and it's making me angry;
+ going to therapy, being hypnotised - the usual;
+ realising who i am actually in love with and thinking how to make it work;
+ falling out with an ex who i thought meant a lot to me, but now have realised he's just like all the other coked-up twats;
+ seeing my friends do something with their life by going to uni or travelling;
and
+ worrying myself with labels of this, that and the other.

it's not like i feel as if i have lost my mind, my mind's completely there - it's the fact that i feel as if i have lost control.

i can't seem to form plans any more. this scares me as i need a route to follow and now, at this great age of twenty, no one is telling me what to do.

all i need is him. someone who will lift me, hold me and make sure i go the right way.

i am stuck in a hall of mirrors, totally. x